Book review - The Courage To Be Disliked

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Top Summary

The book promotes Adlerian psychology where the past traumas are not so important, important is what we are doing.

  • The separation of tasks
  • Overcoming the past
  • Freedom through social interest
  • The significance of life tasks
  • Living in the present moment
The Courage To Be Disliked cover

Adlerian Psychology

“Adlerian psychology is a psychology for changing oneself, not a psychology for changing others” The difference between ‘aetiology’ (the study of causation) and teleology (the study of the purpose of a given phenomenon, rather than its cause).
We are entirely responsible for our life and is depend of us how to interpret the past.
In Adlerian psychology all problems are interpersonal relationship problems.

Separation of Task

“Carrying out the separation of tasks is enough to change one’s interpersonal relationships dramatically.”Recognise the distinction between tasks that are within one’s control and those that are not.
One should focus on their own actions and choices rather than other people.
Avoid seeking validation or approval from others.
Take responsibility for your own choices and actions.

Overcoming the Past

“The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.”Accept responsibility of your life.
Embrace a proactive mindset to create positive change.
Focus on present moment and shape the future, not live in the past.

Freedom Through Social Interest

“If one really has confidence in oneself, one doesn’t feel the need to boast.”Cultivate concern for the well-being of others and society.
Shift away from self-centered thoughts and behaviours.
Develop harmonious relationships by practicing social interest

The Significance of Life Tasks

“if you are not living your life for yourself, then who is going to live it for you”Identify and pursue your unique life tasks or goals.
Find meaning and fulfilment independent of societal expectations.
Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your personal path.

Living in the Present Moment

“We can live only in the here and now. Our lives exist only in moments.”Embrace the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Experience a sense of freedom and happiness by fully engaging with the present.
Practice mindfulness and awareness to enhance your present-moment experiences.

My impression

While the summary is reflecting the main ideas in the book, is not telling anything about the style and the pleasure I had during reading it. The book is very well written, as a dialog between the philosopher and a young man, in a Socrates style.

My favorite quotes:

We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.

No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.’ That you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.

When one seeks recognition from others, and concerns oneself only with how one is judged by others, in the end, one is living other people’s lives.

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